–a guaranteed good review because she is my sister-in-law (and an awesome one at that.) Well, I guess she didn’t HAVE to give it a good review…I think she actually likes it though.

And definitely check out Laura Polk’s post. Laura and I met, well–you can read about it her on her site.

And one more thing: The online study group for The Divine Pursuit will be a google group. If interested, you can sign up here. Now moving on….

Do you ever have one of those days?

Today we had a great on-paper family day. We hiked. We ate. We laughed. We chatted. We bonded. We looked like we were just stepping out of Family Circle, for goodness sake, complete with adorable puppy and equally adorable children. (If I do say so myself.)

So there’s no reason–on paper–that I should have anything but a great day.

Reality Check–sometimes I just feel nasty. I just get tired of answering nonstop questions from inquisitive minds, I get tired of putting on my best mommy voice and saying “well, honey, maybe we can look that up later” (because usually I do not know the answer to why that caterpillar is black and white and how long it will actually be a caterpillar and will it live long and will it be a moth or a butterfly and what does it eat and mommy can I take it home?) I did know the answer to the last one, which was no.

Speaking of no, I do alot of saying “no” too. Don’t do that, don’t touch that, don’t eat that, don’t say that, don’t take that, don’t swing that, don’t hit that, don’t squish that, did you hear me SAY DON”T TOUCH THAT???.

So even though it’s a beautiful day and we are having special family time and the sun is shining and the breeze is breezing, I still hear a little jingle in the back of my head from my girl Pink:

I’m a hazard to myself…don’t let me get me

I’m my own worst enemy..

it’s bad when you annoy yourself….so irritating

Don’t wanna be my friend no more…I wanna be somebody else.

Anyone know what I’m talking about? And if so, how do you deal with your bad attitude?

Before we get to that, I wanted to thank Megan for having me over on her blog, and let you know that there’s a new tab that explains all you need to know about The Divine Pursuit as an online study. Check it out and let me know if you have any questions!

ROMANCING OUR SPIRITUAL LIFE

So today, Nicole asked me to talk about ROMANCE because I’m a romance novelist. But I’ll be honest, even though I write stories about people falling in love, I really don’t have any inside trader secrets on what romance is and how it works. I think, perhaps, this is because romance is a relative term, meaning that it’s different to each one of us. Romance can also be elusive and mysterious, which is exactly why it makes for such great story fodder. But maybe not so easy to define and promote in our daily life.

And yet there is one thing that I believe is at the origin of all romance. And that is sacrificial love. It’s not so much WHAT we do that makes something romantic. It’s not a place or a gift or a special evening, it’s more our attitude in doing something for someone that we love.

Here’s an extreme example. A Caribbean cruise. That sounds romantic, right? So, let’s say my husband takes me on a cruise and the whole time he’s complaining about how much it costs and saying how he’d rather have paid off his car with the money for the trip. Um…miserable! I don’t know about you, but I’d rather stay at home than experience that. BUT let’s say my husband hates boats and is claustrophobic (ship rooms are very small) but just because I want to go on a cruise, he sucks it up and takes me anyway. AND (most importantly) pretends to have a WONDERFUL time all because he loves me and wants to make me happy Now, THAT is romantic.

So, what does ROMANCE have to do with your spiritual life?

EVERYTHING.

We have to take this same attitude and apply it to our spiritual life. But let’s face it sometimes it is SO hard!!! Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to. Talk to people we don’t want to. Go to events we don’t want to… here, I’ll give you another example—a real one, this time. I have caught myself many a time complaining about how I don’t have time to go to my Monday morning Bible study. Ack! Of course, once I get there, I’m so glad that I went. So why do I do that? It must be so unpleasing to God. I mean, how would you feel about having a houseguest that really didn’t want to be with you at all? That would be terrible! It would hurt your feelings, especially if you’d gone to a lot of trouble to prepare.

I think God must feel the same way about our lousy attitudes. So, let’s “fall in love” with loving and serving Christ. Let’s treat spending time with God like we would on a fabulous vacation with the love of our lives.

Let’s romance our spiritual life!

(And if you haven’t shown your spouse or the person you love romantically that your love is sacrificial, think of a way to do that too;-)

Kit Wilkinson is a mom & author living near Richmond, VA. Her latest book, Sabotage, is available everywhere. She’s currently working on her third book called “A Place Called Hope.”

Today my friend Suanne has me over on her new blog, The Rough Cut. Suanne is a great writer, and even more so, has an honest heart for seeking God that I know will inspire you. Go give her some blog love today!

Now, today’s topic: Faith and Kids.

A couple of days ago Jason Boyett posted a blog about Doubts and Parenting that got me thinking.

I’ve wrestled with this issue a ridiculous amount. Although I’m thankful for my solid upbringing, the black-and-white brand of faith that I picked up in my childhood, the rock-solid, doubt-dispelling way I was taught about God’s will, Jesus’ action and the ways of the world couldn’t stand up to the tough questions of life. When I began to doubt and wonder about where God was in this mess, I found myself often clingly too tightly to principles and not tightly enough to the big and mysterious nature of God.

Then I read Kristin Tennant’s post on the same topic and I wanted to share a few bits from each of them:

Jason, talking about his kids:

But when they ask me about God, I’m less confident. Do I tell them what most Christians believe? Do I tell them what I used to believe? Do I tell them what I’m learning to believe now? What do I tell them when my confidence is shaky? How do I help ground their faith?

Read on Here…

Kristin:

Ultimately, I think our kids can avoid a lot of confusion, stress and frustration if they see how doubt is an integral part of faith—not only do go hand-in-hand, they MUST go hand-in-hand. When we are taught about God in absolutes, faith is no longer required. We can rely on our intellect, logic, and a blind acceptance of what’s being said by those who are older and wiser, right? That doesn’t seem like *faith* at all. That seems like studying for a standardized test.

(Read the rest here)

I liked Jason’s questions and Kirsten’s response, and one of the comments on Jason’s blog also caught my attention. The commenter said that sometimes it’s more important for him to not answer his kids with anything except “God Is.” I’ve found myself shying away from biblical indoctrination, memory verses and catechisms, but yet I see how quickly my kids can absorb so much information. I long for them to have biblical knowledge, but I’m not sure how to do it without turning it all into moralistic points. Even to talk about Jesus, I need Jesus! And I’m thinking that’s the way he intended it. Maybe it’s just not supposed to be that easy to figure out.

How about you? What do you do when you struggle with doubt but want to teach your children?

“Prayer and Rejoicing are closely related, for often believers find in prayer the means of removing that which was the barrier to their joy.”

Whether worry, or fear, self-indulgence or self-pity, misplaced longings or isolation–going to God in prayer removes that which keeps me from experiencing his joy. And this picture certainly captures that joy!

If that’s not a good reason to get praying……

In other news, The Divine Pursuit is like my crazy sorority sister, popping up all over the place:

• I’m over on author Sarah Cunningham’s blog: We share freakish childhood memories and happen to be the same age, and so this post on her blog about laugh lines that she happened to write on my birthday makes me hap, hap, happy!
• Check out Jody Along the Path, who also had me over to her bloggity-blog. We are new blogging friends and happy to get connected! I particularly liked her blog about grown-up children. Right on, Jody!

Check out my second row seat, and the awesome blue Wal-Mart vest on my fellow “encourager” (prayer team):

During praise and worship time:

Now some teaching points:

1. Did you know that in John 1:1-18, Jesus is described eight different ways. This is followed by eight different miracles that point to believing that Jesus is God. Each of those eight names of Jesus would absolutely sing to the Jewish people who knew the Old Testament: that Jesus’ life, death and resurrection are evidence of the fact that God “made his dwelling among us.”  That Jesus truly was the embodiement of God, that John 1:18 says Jesus “made [God] known,” meaning Jesus is the translation of God’s glory…if we want to know God, we need to know Jesus. Awesome.

2. I loved finding out that the Greek word for “made his dwelling among us” translates as the tabernacle or God “tabernacled among us.” In the Old Testament book of Exodus, God leads his people out of slavery and when He is going to make his dwelling among them, He tells them to build him a tabernacle (like a tent). The people of John’s time would get this, they would understand that what John is saying is that Jesus is the glory of God “tabernacled” in a person. He is the living, breathing “tent” of God.

3. All of this just speaks to the perfection of scripture…the amazing depth and mind-boggling intricacies that we could spend a whole life studying and only graze the surface of God’s mystery, majesty and magnificence.

4. Jesus stretched out his arms toward grace and truth. Too much truth = legalism, too much grace = license. We  need to return to Jesus as our middle if we are to grasp both of these. We need him to keep us holding onto both.

Other cool stuff:

I got to pray with women who came forward to receive prayer. I returned to my seat to scribble down their names, and even tonight I’m overwhelmed by their burdens. Infertility. Life Transitions. Job Loss. Homelessness. A teenage girl, foster child, recovering from sexual abuse. It breaks my heart to even write this down but renews my desire to pray for these women by name in the coming week. Jesus can dispel even the deepest darkness, the thickest shame and the strongest despair. What an  honor to witness the peace of the Holy Spirit resting on this beautiful women.

Check out this picture: at the end of the night during the final worship time, these girls rushed the stage. I was standing right behind them so I couldn’t see what their shirts said, but I’m guessing they spelled something out (very organized girls! like a regular cheering squad!) Whatever it was, Beth turned around on the platform and caught a glance and just had to march over, slide off the four foot stage, jump the barrier and come sing with them. She had her arms wrapped around them and then she motioned for them to huddle up with her on the floor while she prayed with them. I loved it. I loved her even more, for her genuineness, for her ability to minister even in a moment’s time with those girls.

Woooe, what a weekend! Want to give a shout-out to my girls Anne Gaskill and Katrina Sinift who had me visit over on their blogs yesterday. Anne is a great photographer and captures the joy of everyday life in her family, and Katrina blogs about God, life and writing (I particularly like this post on “If I Came With An Owner’s Manual”) 

Thanks, my bloggity friends, for the visit! Now, off to continue to digest the teaching from this weekend. Quote of the night from Beth Moore “you gotta eat it before you tweet it.” I’m just doin what I’m told!

Brilliant lyrics from MC Lyte and fabulous memories of my days as a hip-hop instructor. I do not lie.

The blog party continues. Two of my favorite, quirkiest bloggers are up today. I love that they both picked the same day. Let me sum them up for you this way.

Kirsten, at Still Hate Pickles, posted yesterday on Facebook “you should get your copy of the Divine Pursuit, or be like Jonah and run the other direction.”

Mary, at Mary Goes Round..and Round, emailed me yesterday to say, “Is it alright if I call you Nicki? I feel like I should.” Keep in mind, Mary and I have NEVER met in person. How was she to know that I actually went by Nicki (spelled Nicci to be unique and cool and different) for all of my glorious middle and high school years? Ah, the blogosphere, how I love you. (Despite the fact that I just had an article published on loving technology too much.)

So today I want these girls to shine:

Kirsten calls herself “an alternative to the mainstream mommy blog” which is the only reason I started reading her blog, because I’m not too much into the mommy scene. So yea, she blogs about mothering, but she also writes pretty durn good (joke) and does roller derby. Yeah, you want to know her. She’s cool like that.

Mary is quirky and fun and somehow has almost 3,000 facebook friends. I seriously don’t know what to do with that, except to say, girl, you are living some life if you know that many people. Love that she’s doing this bible study, love that I’ve gotten to know her a bit, and I hope she’ll bring her sassy self around our online group as well!

I’ve got one more friend for you to meet: Natasha and I met briefly at Synergy last year. We share a mutual friend and even in our few minutes together, I knew I had found a fellow get-it-done kinda girl. So it’s no surprise that Natasha has since started a blog, written for Gifted for Leadership and is working on her first book, a spiritual memoir. Hop on over to A Sista’s Journey and get inspired!

Finding a short line was pretty important.

I would push one cart down the aisles, her with the other, my brother between us navigating like an airport technician, arms raising to signal us to the proper line.

I don’t like waiting for life to happen to me, so I’ve always made it happen. I liked to make a habit of multitasking…I finished fourth and fifth grade math in third grade, decided to do fifth and sixth grade in one year, and then bounced myself out of high school in three years. I waited several agonizing months for my college man to propose, but I made sure those months weren’t easy for him.

I couldn’t believe it when my first baby was nine days late.

And I still don’t like the lines at the grocery store.

Yesterday I stood in the kitchen and thought about how long I’ve been waiting for several plans to come through. And I was struck by the thought: I haven’t liked waiting my whole life. But waiting keeps coming up.
Have I learned anything?

If God is about character shaping, and He continues to bring circumstances into my life that involve waiting, have I gotten any better?

Have I learned to wait well?

And in the waiting, do I allow God to shape and reshape me? Do I allow Him to even form something new?

Thankfully, some things are clear, others still shimmer ahead, almost in view but not quite. And today, as I paused to thank God for his provision and for answered prayers. I even thanked him for the waiting, because, in the words of Gloria Gaynor, I’ve grown strong….and I’ve learned how to get along.

And wait just a little bit better.

Your Turn: What’s your relationship with waiting?

Over the next 10 days, I’ll be visiting a bunch of blogs talking about The Divine Pursuit, and reporting back to you over here!

Over the last two years I’ve met some seriously awesome people. Some of them you’ve met here on the blog, and some might be new to you. And although I cringed a bit to think of this was a big ol’  promotional tour, the truth is, this is a great chance for me to introduce you to some bloggers that I think you will love. So without further ado….

Divine Pursuit Blog Blitz

Theology Mama: This girl is smokin with passion. I met Shayne Moore via her writing before meeting her in person, and when we did meet this spring, I got warm just being around her fiery energy. Our small talks about her passion for social justice made me feel passionate about social justice–she was just contagious in her energy and drive and well, FIRE to bring freedom to the oppressed and minister to the poor. Her book, Global Soccer Mom, releases in January 2011 and I’m sure you’ll hear more from me about it then–I can’t wait to read it!

Judy Douglas– I met Judy before she met me. It was at Synergy two years ago, and I was a snotty, blubbery mess about being a woman in ministry, trying to raise young kids and follow a call. Judy was leading a workshop on the very topic, and her deep joy and peace, not to mention eyes that always look on the verge of twinkling with laughter, lodged a memory of her deep into my heart. And now that I’m working on the Synergy board, I’ve had the opportunity to know her a little more–and I love what she has to say on her blog. So head on over and check her out–this is a lady who’s lived enough life to always be worth reading and heeding her advice.

The Downers’-The Downer Family is a great family from my church. Naomi emailed me to say that she’d love to help with the blog, although she mostly writes about family. But I think there’s tons of life and learning to be had in the everyday life with kids, so of course I wanted to share that with you all too!

And it’s not too late to get in on the action! If you blog and want to join the party, just email me at nicoleunice at gmail dot com, and I’ll even give you a free book to giveaway. It’s not a party without free stuff! Alright, I’m off to spin the disco ball and dance around with The Divine Pursuit guide. Kidding. Kind of.

The iphone is a gift from my dad–no matter that it’s a castoff, for he’s even more of a technology junkie than I am. I cannot wait to activate this phone–I love it because it’s life, folded into a sleek little package–pictures, and music, meeting over coffee, emails and twitter and little chats on text, o my. I can’t wait.

But today is my birthday and now I’m thirty-three. Birthdays make me want to think, about my life so far and the life still to come–and I’ve found a gift even better than boots or a phone.

Here’s the gift I’m giving myself this year:

• Accepting that my thirties are a funny time, past the time when you are considered “young” but not old enough to be considered “wise.”
• Knowing how much I don’t know.
• Becoming more sure about some things–about what I love, what’s worth spending time on–and less sure about many other things.
• Knowing with certainty that I’m completely uncertain about my future–and that’s OK.
• Resolving that I can’t be in more than one place at one time, and deciding to live well in that place and that time. When I’m in the longest line at Wal-Mart behind the grandmother buying four year’s worth of school supplies and paying with a check, I can live well, even in that spot. Yes I can.
• I choose to accept my mortality. How much I can do well. How long I can push without rest. And how desperately I need God’s presence, that whisper of certainty even in the clouds, the affirmation of love even in doubt, the presence of peace even in tension.

That is my gift to myself, and this is my goal for this year:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because  you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day to the answer. (“Letters to a Young Poet”, Rilke, as quoted in ”The Courage to Teach”, Palmer)

I resolve to speak with conviction about what I know, and more importantly, about what I still do not know.

I wonder about you: What is the gift you want, or more importantly, need, to give yourself this year?

Disconnected

Early last week, I was commenting to my roommate, Grace, that I felt like I was spending too much time on the computer – checking e-mail, looking at Facebook, trying to stay connected to my world back in the States. Don´t get me wrong, I think the modern convenience of technology is awesome. I am living in Peru, but I can keep updated on the daily lives of friends and family through a plethora of tools through the Internet. I can even talk to people for free while actually seeing them on my computer.

But one of my goals for my experience this summer is to spend more time in seeking God in prayer, in reading and in quietness.

Another is to fully commit to the experience of being here and living in the community of San Juan.

Both of these goals mean less time mindlessly poking around the Internet. Of course, in this age of super-technology, that is easier said than done.

I don´t know if God overheard my conversation with Grace (and if He agreed with my assessment of my overuse of time on the Internet), but on Thursday my computer crashed. “Crash” isn’t the right word, because that would assume that it had turned on. But it didn´t. And in one split second, I felt completely cut off from my world. No e-mail, no Facebook, no Skype. Gone was my music, my documents, my pictures. How in the world can I be so dependent on technology that this felt like a monumental disaster in my life?

I have to admit, it was not a very good moment for me. With my computer muerta (dead), I felt completely disconnected. From life here, from life in the States, and I have to say, from God and this journey that I am travelling on. Feeling disconnected is not fun. For me, it is a mixture of feeling tired and lonely, but also guilty and challenged for feeling tired and lonely. I love everything that I am doing here in Lima. I work with a group (Peace and Hope) that is challenging and educating communities about different social issues in this society. In just a few weeks, I have: taught at seminars on Women´s Rights and Domestic Violence; shared bible lessons on our identity as children of God; translated for a seminar on investigation of child abuse cases; and played with street kids living in a center in my neighborhood. I have also met some tremendous Christian servants who live and love unconditionally in extremely poor areas in San Juan. In the midst of the struggles they face on a daily basis, how could I be reacting so strongly to something that definitely was not a crisis?

So I took a step back and asked God to reveal to me what he wanted me to see. In the midst of this “crisis” I was having, I decided to write down the blessings that were surrounding me. This was the list that I wrote in my journal:

• Karen, the secretary at our office, for calling her computer guy and bringing me to his shop.
• Anna, another friend at the central office, for getting me in touch with the computer techs there, and for letting me stay the night at her place on Thursday when they were still trying to fix my computer. (We had an awesome conversation!)
• Genaro, a colleague at our office, for being so concerned about this gringa that he took a taxi into the main office with me (over an hour away!)
• Arturo, who tirelessly worked on fixing my computer Thursday night and then all day Friday as it crashed again.
• Jaime and Anna for introducing me to Sanwichon – a huge Peruvian style sandwich.

I realized that I was never truly disconnected. God has always been faithful in providing people that care for me wherever I am in the world. Sometimes, it is difficult to remember that in the midst of challenging circumstances. But although we may feel disconnected, God never disconnects from us. Maybe He uses those moments that we feel disconnected to help us focus on other things He is doing in our lives.

True to his faithful nature, God gave me a great weekend of fellowship. I was able to let out some frustration from the end of the week during a conversation with my roommate. On Saturday, I had a great time playing with a group of street kids living at a home near my house. That night, I was able to talk to and play volleyball with some teenagers in another community. As for my computer, it is up and functioning. And with its new Peruvian programs, it is now bilingual…which makes me smile.